Do you loathe asking for referral business?
Ever wonder if it’s because you’re doing it all wrong?
It’s not your fault – most agents are taught to ask generic questions like, “Do you know anyone looking to buy, sell, or rent?” The problem? Our brains aren’t wired to respond to vague prompts. Without specifics, people draw a blank. But when you give them clear details, you spark their creativity – and suddenly, the referrals start flowing.
The Brain Science Behind Better Referrals
Our brains are wired to love specifics. When you throw out a vague question, the creative part of the brain (hi, prefrontal cortex!) doesn’t know where to start. But when you add details, you give it a map.
In fact, science backs this up. A study published in Cognitive Science found that people respond faster and more effectively to specific prompts because they activate their associative memory. Translation? The more detailed your ask, the easier it is for someone to help you
How to Ask for Referrals That Get Results
- Get Clear on Your Ideal Client
Be specific about who you’re looking to help. For example, “I’m looking to connect with first-time homebuyers in [specific area].”
- Use Examples or Stories
Share a quick story, like, “I recently helped a family move into their dream townhouse with a backyard for their kids. If you know anyone in a similar situation, I’d love an introduction.”
- Don’t Be Afraid to Be Bold.
Your network wants to help – but they need you to make it easy for them! Be direct, clear, and confident in your ask
The Bottom Line
Your network wants to help you succeed, but they need specifics to do it. Ditch the generic requests and give them the details they need to connect the dots. You’ll be amazed at how much easier and more effective asking for referrals can be.
So here’s your challenge for the week: Rewrite one of your referral requests to make it specific and clear. Try it out, and watch what happens. (And don’t forget to let me know when it works!)
Planning for success doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Start with these small steps, and you’ll be ahead of the curve come January.
✨ What’s one thing you’re ready to change about your mindset for 2025? Hit reply and let me know—I’d love to hear from you.
Here’s to smarter, more effective asks – and all the referrals you deserve.
Talk soon,
Molly B.
Founder & CEO, Molly B. Townsend Coaching & Consulting
[email protected]
P.S. Struggling to define your ideal client or refine your messaging? Let’s chat. I’d love to help!
